10 Truths About Suicide and Suicide Attempts – Bipolar Burble Blog

There are many truths about suicide that are important to understand. If you or a loved one have attempted suicide, you are concerned for a loved one about suicide, or have had a loved one die of suicide, there’s a lot to be said, and people are often scared about saying it. This fear leads to silence, and silence on this topic is painful and can be deadly. But suicide is not a dirty word; there is nothing wrong with talking about it. To that end, join me for 10 truths about suicide that we need to talk about.

Suicide and Suicide Attempt Truths

The following are 10 important truths about suicide:

1. Talking about suicide doesn’t increase the risk. While I understand that no one wants to talk about death or the incredibly terrifying possibility of death by suicide, not talking about it actually increases the risks. It’s when people feel most alone that they are at the highest risk of taking their own lives. It’s when people feel that they can’t talk about it, that they can’t reach out, that no one can help them, that risk of suicide is at its highest. You are not putting ideas into anyone’s head. If a person is not suicidal, discussing the subject won’t make them want to die. On the other hand, if a person is suicidal, those ideas are already there and need discussing.
2. Shame, guilt, and accusations of selfishness don’t prevent suicide. You cannot help someone who is suicidal by making them feel worse. That will push them farther away. Instead, it’s important to see things from their perspective and understand that while no one wants to die, suicide can seem like a viable option when compared to a life full of pain.
3. Suicidality is a symptom of something else. Suicidality is not the problem. The problem is whatever is driving the person to feel suicidal. This often is depression, but it can be other things as well. Preventing suicide in the moment is important, but it’s dealing with the underlying issue that will truly save a life.
4. Not everyone is grateful they didn’t die. Just living through a suicide attempt isn’t necessarily enough to make a person not suicidal. While I know the common refrain is people saying they are so happy they didn’t die, not everyone feels that way. In fact, a suicide attempt is a risk factor for dying by suicide. They may have survived the attempt, but so did the pain driving their suicidality.
5. Feeling suicidal doesn’t make you bad or ungrateful for what you have. Suicidality is something that happens in your brain and is not your fault. You have the responsibility to deal with it, but the fact that you feel that way does not make you a bad person, nor does it mean that you aren’t “counting your blessings.”
6. No one can prevent every suicide. I would love to say that if everyone did everything right, no one would ever die of suicide, but that’s just not the case. Pain sometimes wins, and it’s not anyone’s fault.
7. You didn’t cause your loved one to die of suicide or attempt suicide. If you threaten someone’s life, yes, maybe you can force their behaviors, but outside of that, people make their own decisions and choose their own actions. Maybe you made some mistakes. Maybe you could have done some things better. Those things may be true. Your loved one’s suicide attempt or death still isn’t your fault.
8. People impacted by suicide need empathy and support. Whether it’s the family of the person who has died by suicide or attempted suicide or the suicidal person themselves, everyone in the situation needs empathy, compassion, and support. It’s not helpful to whisper about these people in hushed tones. What is helpful is talking to these people and asking them what they need. We can help those impacted by suicide, but only when we actively engage with them and give them what works for them.
9. Therapy is not optional for those impacted by suicide. If your loved one has died by suicide, if you have attempted suicide, or if you have been impacted by suicide in any other way, therapy is likely necessary for you to heal. Taking a pill won’t do it. Just waiting for time to pass will not work. You need to make active changes and learn new skills to heal after something so difficult.
10. Suicide is strong and scary, but you can stand up to it. I have been suicidal for years at a time. I have attempted suicide. I have wanted to die more than I’ve wanted anything else. When I say that you can stand up to suicide, when I say that you can survive suicidality, I mean it. You are powerful beyond measure. You are resilient beyond what you can see. You can get help, you can make changes, and you can beat the bastard.

Share Your Suicide Truths

So there they are — my 10 incredibly important truths about suicide and suicide attempts. Let’s dispel myths and start real conversations about suicide together. What are your suicide truths? What have I missed? What do you wish people knew about suicidality?

If you are feeling suicidal, please see here for ways to get help. If you have been affected by a loved one’s suicide, please see here.

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